f you have lived your life in complete grace and have always been a 'together' person, you would probably have no idea what I am talking about; But if like me, you have lived your life on the other side of the universe where there is an intrinsic lack of coordination around you and gravity is your worst enemy, this would feel like your life's story.
Clumsiness is not a lifestyle choice, it is a curse. Everyone around you assumes it's an act,or you are trying to be cute on purpose, but trust me, for the person living it, there is nothing cute about it. It's a real struggle. It's a struggle to get past through the day without wrecking things, or getting into an accident.
Here's a glimpse into the life of a clumsy person.
Your accident prone self always manages to get a mysterious bruise, or a cut trying to open a takeout box or a sprain every time you leave the house. This is why you and your physician now know each other on a first name basis.
You always prefer to eat alone because eating in public just ends up with you losing your dignity and your lunch on your shirt. Only you know how many of your most beloved clothes you had to throw out cause you couldn't get the spaghetti stain off them. And God Forbid if you ever want to buy anything white, now that just sounds unnatural!
Even though you absolutely love wearing heels, you end up convincing yourself to wear flats as you are always shit scared to fall on your face in front of the crowd. And if someday you allow yourself some happiness and feel all confident by wearing your sexiest pair of heels, you literally walk right into someone and stab their feet. Well, at least for a change, it wasn't you who ended up with a bruise right?!
ny activity that requires hand-eye coordination is never your cup of tea. You are always the last person to be selected on any sports team (well you can't really blame them for that). In the middle of any game, with no fault of yours, you smack your own teammates in the head with the ball, which is why you try to stay as far away from any form of sports as possible.
Well, if your normal sober self is a total klutz, then how scary is the drunk version of you. The next morning when you wake up, you have no recollection of how your entire house looks like it was hit by a tornado, and you have broken more things then you can count.
Due to your massive record of dropping things and breaking them (be it glassware, coffee mugs, electronics), you have now acquired the nickname "Butterfingers". All your friends and family treat you like you were a bull left alone in a china shop.
No matter how hard you try, subtly just isn't your strongest suit. You manage to attract attention at the most unfortunate times. You have managed to trip on a flat surface in the middle of a crowded room, your cell phone always goes off in the movies, and then it takes you at least 5 min to rummage it from your bag.
You have a terrifying expression on your face when someone asks you to hold their baby. Based on your undeniable record, you are freaked out about dropping the baby and giving it a bump on the head
Being on your toes is a part of your personality. You can't afford to get too excited about anything, before you make some loud hand gesture out of excitement knocking down a bunch of things or hitting people in the eye. Excitement only leads to embarrassment at the end.
After trying for years to pull yourself together, you have realized that perhaps you are genetically wired to be clumsy and awkward. You are now the definition of clumsy and there is no helping it, and so you have come to terms with being the way you are and accepted your fate.
If you are a perpetually clumsy being and struggling with your awkwardness on a daily basis, just remember that you are not alone,there are a bunch of other fabulous clumsy people who are facing the same problems just like you. The trick is to laugh it off and move on.
Clumsiness is not a lifestyle choice, it is a curse. Everyone around you assumes it's an act,or you are trying to be cute on purpose, but trust me, for the person living it, there is nothing cute about it. It's a real struggle. It's a struggle to get past through the day without wrecking things, or getting into an accident.
Here's a glimpse into the life of a clumsy person.
Your accident prone self always manages to get a mysterious bruise, or a cut trying to open a takeout box or a sprain every time you leave the house. This is why you and your physician now know each other on a first name basis.
You always prefer to eat alone because eating in public just ends up with you losing your dignity and your lunch on your shirt. Only you know how many of your most beloved clothes you had to throw out cause you couldn't get the spaghetti stain off them. And God Forbid if you ever want to buy anything white, now that just sounds unnatural!
Even though you absolutely love wearing heels, you end up convincing yourself to wear flats as you are always shit scared to fall on your face in front of the crowd. And if someday you allow yourself some happiness and feel all confident by wearing your sexiest pair of heels, you literally walk right into someone and stab their feet. Well, at least for a change, it wasn't you who ended up with a bruise right?!
ny activity that requires hand-eye coordination is never your cup of tea. You are always the last person to be selected on any sports team (well you can't really blame them for that). In the middle of any game, with no fault of yours, you smack your own teammates in the head with the ball, which is why you try to stay as far away from any form of sports as possible.
Well, if your normal sober self is a total klutz, then how scary is the drunk version of you. The next morning when you wake up, you have no recollection of how your entire house looks like it was hit by a tornado, and you have broken more things then you can count.
Due to your massive record of dropping things and breaking them (be it glassware, coffee mugs, electronics), you have now acquired the nickname "Butterfingers". All your friends and family treat you like you were a bull left alone in a china shop.
No matter how hard you try, subtly just isn't your strongest suit. You manage to attract attention at the most unfortunate times. You have managed to trip on a flat surface in the middle of a crowded room, your cell phone always goes off in the movies, and then it takes you at least 5 min to rummage it from your bag.
You have a terrifying expression on your face when someone asks you to hold their baby. Based on your undeniable record, you are freaked out about dropping the baby and giving it a bump on the head
Being on your toes is a part of your personality. You can't afford to get too excited about anything, before you make some loud hand gesture out of excitement knocking down a bunch of things or hitting people in the eye. Excitement only leads to embarrassment at the end.
After trying for years to pull yourself together, you have realized that perhaps you are genetically wired to be clumsy and awkward. You are now the definition of clumsy and there is no helping it, and so you have come to terms with being the way you are and accepted your fate.
If you are a perpetually clumsy being and struggling with your awkwardness on a daily basis, just remember that you are not alone,there are a bunch of other fabulous clumsy people who are facing the same problems just like you. The trick is to laugh it off and move on.
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